It’s almost Christmas already ~ Last Christmas was the most boring Xmas I’ve had. This year seems not different. We intend to have HC Reunion again, due to the Come back special of Hoi oppa =D. But then I’m too busy to have a party at that time *sigh* ~~ I don wanna say nonsense thing,but really,this year is the hardest year of ever to me.You don believe it but I swear there’s nothing in this year I’m satisfied with.Everything is a BIG disappointment,everything is against me.There’s even no happy time,well,there is I guess,but I can’t remember them anymore...

I’m really tired I can’t take it any longer. Just want this year to end as fast as possible.But then again,will everything be different in the new year? Or it’s still horrible as hell like that? The weather has been real cold recently,and it just makes me feel more lonely and pathetic than ever.It sounds like I’m a depressed person,and feel bad for everything I have,but trust me,I’m more optimistic than you are ;) ~ Sometimes I just couldn’t function why a thing would turn out so badly like that? It was too incomprehensible,which made me feel ridiculous.What did I do? Am I that bad? Did I hurt someone? Did I say something horrible? I’m not the most innocent girl in this world,and of course I DID hurt someone ,here or there ! But Did I deserve it?

I’m good .. I believe it

Actually,my life was never like that before.I mean I too had difficulties,but after each year,there was always something I was satified with,this or that... always.. Now I feel like I’m being punished,there were so many times I was too pissed off I just could not understand what was happening and why everything was just so bad like that..Why? Why? Why? Always the same question,spinning crazily in my head ~

I can’t handle it..I’m tired... I just wanna explode

And really I now don know what’s exactly I can expect in.What do I have afterall? Like always,studying is my strength.But as the worst year in history as it is,school just makes me more tired,if don say,it makes the most stress to me.

Now I’m counting down impatiently for the new year to come. And I don dare to know wat the f*ck reason make me have the hope everything will charge in the next year ~ Why I have to know anyway? At least I have a thing to do ~ Just one second make me forget everything out there is precious

Tomorrow is another day afterall.

Yeah,I’m ok

12/7 EDIT :

Haishhhhhh.I’ve just re-read all the things I wrote yesterday.It’s true that’s this year is so hard and everything is so mean to me. But who cares? Who am I? I’m not the best,I’m not even that good compared to couple of ppl out there,but I can live through all those things.They’re just nothing,it’s the beginning and I speak like a pathetic loser already??

I have so many things to do,so many people who care for me and love me with all their hearts. Although all the things I wanna do are not amazing as the things other ppl can do,although I’m loved by just a few ppl, I’m still happy. Cause I know I’ll never be alone,ever and ever.I still have my parents,my little stupid dongseng,who care about me no matter what,who never THINK when loving me. And also my grandparents,I’m just sooo soo happy to have them beside me.I have a perfect family,everybody is just good and all.I never have to complain this or that.And I know until the day I die,they’re still the most important persons to me,the whole world can hate me but my dear family.

Friends? I still have my 2 best friends : Chi who sometimes scares me a little lol =D but can go anywhere I want her to go and understand me amazingly and Linh hoi oppa who always always be my best friend,whom I’ll never have to worry when I’m beside her ~~ lol ~ Then I still have HC,a big GANG with crazy crazy girls =D I love you I love you =D University has just started and I don ask a punch of friend.HC became best friends in the last year of High School,didn’t we?? Anyway,I still have Van,who’s sometimes sooo silly and shy funnily but always chooses my first =D And then some friends whom I really like =D

Things? I have TONS of thing !~ I have to finish my exam next month,don’t I ?? ~__~ I still have some works for English Club,don’t I ~ Further,I have to learn Korean.And how can I forget to mention “PIG PROJECT” it’s may b lame to someone but not me ~ It’s a bit dreamy but I know I can do it.Starting a job is always in my list,I just have to choose the right time. Money is always a big big problem. And by the way talking about money,I have to find a way to buy Shinhwa’s stuff too,the first spot in my list right now is the Seoul DVD Concert :x. I’m not scared to even rob the bank to have a copy =D

See? It’s so soo soo many even I’ve not finished yet ~ I know it,I’m not too optimistic to forget all the sadness and obstacles out there,but what’s the point of being so pathetic and keeping complaining about everything? Everything is just there,no matter what you think and feel.It’s just the matter of your attitude.I just can’t be cowardly like that forever,because afterall I still have to face them and deal with them~ ~ What’s the difference here??

I still have to live right? I’m just too young and my future is just too long for me to sound like a loser like that.

But I know it. I have to DO,not just sitting here and speaking empty words.

Just do it already.