Mood : Confused
Song for today : No song for today


Sometimes I just think if everything is not bad like this from the start,then I won't have to be so confused like right now. And if I'm better from the start,or simply be more self confident,I won't have to be so worried,puzzled and even scared like right now.
I always think at least I'm good at some field,at some level but then again life just makes me feel helpless and let me think I can NOT do anything at all. I'm an optimistic person,hell yes,but .. I dunno,it's just like I wanna avoid everything and everybody,snuggle into my warm blanket in my warm room,be safe (or feel safe??!) and all.
Funny how I'm such a ambitious girl but at the same time so afraid of trying thing.Like,if I were like some of my friends who feel satisfied with all they have and don force themselves to do some big things.Life to them is simple.
But I'm different,I wanna try new things and get some things.But again,as I said,being a retarded myself,I don have strength to do what I want.I'm such a geek/
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I think I read way TOO much yaoi mangas HAHAHAHA,there are so many delicious mangas I can't resist -____-; I decided to order Only the ring finger knows novel version from Amazon,while I still have to earn money for Shinhwa stuffs +____+ but heck,the story is so good and you can't imagine how crazy I were when I found out the manga based on just half of the original novel HAHAHA I need money I'm so pathetic +___+
And I've not even started my movie poster for Ricdy event in SHCJ
+___+ I'm f*cking lazy and I have all the ideas but have done anything at all -_____-; I blamed the my new mouse (computer ^^) for being so stupid,like seriously it's a new one but it's so so so harder to move than the old one ~___~ And my mom threw it (the poor old one) already so I can't use PS ^^ HAHAHA I'm defending for myself being so freaking lazy =D
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Dongwan's new drama is really good,ppl nowadays,haish,they just watch some 'typical' dramas,like the actors in the drama are so handsome and adorable,their love is so cute and romantic blah blah blah -__-; I'm glad that DW chose for himself a REAL good script,in which he can prove his acting,not because it can make him more popular ~___~
But ok I admit,I now understand why DW was so worried that the fans would hate him for his character.I mean we r all fangirls *squeak*,we r so easy to sway HAHAHA,watching like that in the drama make me a little scared (???!) HAHAHA like he's such a dork in real life -___- sometimes he's so annoying for being so noisy and all -___-; (Agree wholeheartedly to Minwoo -__-") HAHA but now look at him,being so serious and angstfic-___-" He even have a baby and do some bad things with a strange girl O____O But I think that way he's now successful ^^ ~ I just keep being like "Wow.Ouch.Huhu.Where's usual Dongwannie??" while watching the drama ^^